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Lemmy's Land

Millenium Star

Baby Bowser

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Season Ten: Round 2, Battle 3

Millenium Star

Seed 14

Baby Bowser

Seed 19

Preview Analysis

Game Guy: Step right up! Place your bets! Place your bets! Who's going to win this FABULOUS matchup? Will it be Baby Bowser, the cute little tyke tyrant? Or will it be Millennium Star, the host of Mario Party 3? Well Roy gave me power... a lot of it... so I'll give you the best shot.

Game Guy on Baby Bowser: If you can understand bad New Jersey dialect then you already know who Baby Bowser is. However, what you might NOT know is that Baby Bowser has the ability to summon a bunch of blocks and can throw them. He can also steal coins from anyone he wants. (But only in five-coin chunks.). He can also turn into Bowser himself for a good 30 seconds and smash anything he wants, as well as use a feather duster to tickle enemies into submission, and he can summon mini-tornados. He can also turn into three different-colored clones of himself. If he does this, you can only defeat him by defeating all three clones.

Game Guy on Millennium Star: Like I need to explain who the Millennium Star is. The only thing you probably don't know about him already is that he can summon Mario Party helpers to assist people in battle.

Game Guy's Analysis on Baby Bowser: Let's see, he'll probably start off with fire. If he can't knock Millennium Star down with that. I'd suggest turning into Bowser and just try doing everything to smash him in 30 seconds. Then once the Millennium Star shows weakness, just go all out on him.

Game Guy's Analysis on Millennium Star: I would suggest he play a long-range game. Keep WAY out of Baby Bowser's range and keep hitting him with mini-games.

Game Guy's Winner: Baby Bowser is more qualified than a good chunk of Millennium Star's opponents. But I still think Millennium Star has a good 5:1 chance, while Baby Bowser has a pretty fair 10:1 chance at winning.

After the analysis, Game Guy goes into his own personal locker room.

Game Guy: All right guys, come on up.

Baby Bowser and Goomba walk into the locker room.

Game Guy: I'd like to call the First Staff Meeting of the Game Guy Inc. to order. We'll start with a list of names. I'm Game Guy, and I'm the President and CEO.


Game Guy: I'm sorry, Bowser. I'll bring out the candy after the meeting has adjourned.

Baby Bowser: I'm CFO! Chocolate Fountain Opener! Where's my chocolate?!

Game Guy: Moving on. We also have our Vice President of Advertising, Goomba.

Goomba: Hello.

Game Guy: First order of business. "Why I have made this company".

Baby Bowser: I WANT-

Game Guy sticks a wad of candy in Baby Bowser's mouth.

Baby Bowser: Tank yew!

Game Guy: Anyway, when Roy foolishly signed this contract saying that if my six big picks made it into Round 2 I would gain all ownership of  "Larry", there was a little bit of fine print he missed. Goomba, if you would.

Game Guy passes the contract to Goomba.

Goomba:... You're not serious?!... REALLY?!

Game Guy: Yep, and he signed it. The big dolt!

Goomba: This contract says if Wario, Waluigi, Millennium Star, Baby Bowser, Piranha Plant, or me (Goomba) wins this entire tournament, YOU get to own the Sports Hall?!

Game Guy: Yep! And I'm turning THIS place into my new casino. Now I offered the four others a job, but the Wario Bros. are too busy getting Babes and Money. Millennium Star wishes to work for "a higher cause", and Piranha Plant "has his own ideas for the DynaStar".

Baby Bowser: So what about us?

Game Guy: So here's my idea. Since you two actually took up my lovely offer, I'm going to give you two "Executive Privilege". For instance, Goomba, you no longer have to share a locker room with Bob-omb and Glum Reaper. You will now bunk with me.

Goomba: Good! The "Locker Room" Roy gave us was nothing but a cement cube with curtains, mirrors, and a broken toilet!

Baby Bowser: EWWWWWWW!

Game Guy: And you, Baby Bowser. Even though you don't have the main advantage in your battle with Millennium Star-

Baby Bowser: WHAT?!

Game Guy: -I'm going to give you something that will help you. All because you decided to help me. Here you are.

Game Guy gives Baby Bowser the Star Rod from Mario Party 8. (As if anyone played it. The only good board on there was Shy Guy's Train, anyway.)

Baby Bowser: What this?

Game Guy: Shake it around a bit and move your hand down.

Baby Bowser does so, and a giant spell gets launched out, leaving a giant hole in the wall.


Game Guy: There you go. Now, to finish the meeting, I propose we have a toast.

Game Guy, Goomba, and Baby Bowser take out cans of soda.

Game Guy: A toast, to Game Guy Inc.

Game Guy Inc: To Game Guy Inc.

They drink their soda and toss them into trash cans.

???: OW!

Game Guy: You hear something?

Baby Bowser: ... Must be my stomach. I WANNA CONE OF ICE CWEAM!

Game Guy: All right, all right. Let's go get ice cream.

Game Guy Inc. leave the room. Spy Guy pops out of a trashcan rubbing his head.

Spy Guy: What?! Own the entire Sports Hall?! I have to get this to Ludwig!

Nastasia: Good evening, Larry.

Larry: To you as well.

N: I have to say, you are much more considerate than Roy, presenting yourself, and on time!

L: Well, I try to differentiate myself from that pig as much as possible.

N: Going back to your last interview, I see that-

L: When did you decide to betray the Sports Hall, Nastasia?

N: .. Um.. From your last interview, I see that-

L: I'm sorry, was that question too difficult?  Maybe I should ask, is there any reason you're still with us, unlike most of the other defeated fighters?

N: .. End transmission.

L: Keep it rolling, Hammer Bro.  Nastasia, wouldn't you say that as a hypnotist with access to all the fighters, you are in a prime position to help any shadow organization that may be working at odds with the Sports Hall?

N: Yes, I suppose that would be the case.  Perhaps you shouldn't have said so on-air to give any of our viewers an idea.

L: I think someone's already had that idea, and that you've been messing around this whole time.

N: You're just guessing.

L: Then please tell me what was going on in the Don Pianta/Count Bleck battle.

N: Don't tell me, you saw me on the footage too.

L: Nooooo, but now you make me very curious to know who else had footage to see.  No, Don's goons looked so lost that it can only have been you.

N: Fine, I did help Count Bleck.  I helped him because Don Pianta was blackmailing him with Timpani as a prisoner.  He went too far!  So yes, I made sure Count Bleck had a chance to compose himself.

L: So you had no ulterior motive?  Just concern for your old friend Bleck.

N: That's right.  In fact..

L: Hm..?

N: Maybe there is a group that came looking.  That wanted what I..  But no, it was all a mistake.  A big mistake.

L: Give me a name, Nastasia.

N: I don't know.  All that you saw in the ring with Roy is what I know for sure.

L: You have to be able to give me something.  Especially if you're turning against them.

N: .. Question the other fallen fighters that are here.  They may have seen them.  And.. the one with a pink snout looks familiar.

L: .. Thank you, Nastasia.  You have been very helpful.  Considering your prime position I should probably take you off the air, but.. What can I say?  I love your show.

N: You are too kind.

L: Obviously I will be monitoring the footage, and will probably station a guard or two in the room.  Just to be sure.

N: Of course.

L: Well then..

N: Well, that interview didn't take very long.  I could still ask you some questions if you don't mind.

L: .. Yeah, sure.

N: Were you surprised that Roy named you as his replacement to run the Sports Hall?

L: At first, definitely.  But as I think about it, I figure, since I'm on his mind a lot (as someone to pummel), my name probably came to his mind first and clearest in his confused state following his defeat.  So it kind of makes sense.

N: Still, if that were the case, maybe by now he would have realized he had made a mistake, and appointed a new leader.

L: That would require Roy to admit to having made a mistake, though.  Not very likely.

N: Has there been an update on Roy's condition?  It's been a few weeks since we heard anything.

L: I'm not his healthcare proxy or anything, it's not for me to know.  But from what I do hear, it's still pretty touch and go.  Mr. L hit him hard.

N: No question about that.  Already during your short time running the Sports Hall you have made a lot of changes, despite resistance to them.  Had you been planning these in advance?

L: Not specifically.  I think fast on my feet, though, and am fast to take charge of any situation.

N: Do you see yourself incorporating more of your own personal interests into the Sports Hall?

L: Not really.  I don't exactly want the fighters sneaking around - in fact, that's the kind of thing I'm trying to stop.  And plants and the Sports Hall don't particularly mix, though you are, of course, aware of the new hires.

N: Ah, yes.  Crazee Dayzee, Panser, and Spiky Snifit, was it?  How are they working out?

L: They're still putting down roots, but I am confident they will be far more effective than the brickheads they're replacing.

N: Roy pays his employees so little, though.  You could have kept them on the payroll as well.

L: Maybe if they were simply doing nothing, but they're actually making things worse.  They're haphazardly destructive, and their presence gives a license for folks to do whatever they want.

N: We shouldn't lose sight of the fact that you are still a competitor in the tournament.  Your next opponent will be Tanoomba.  Do you have a strategy?

L: You mean other than disqualifying him?

N: .. Um..

L: Only kidding!  Tanoomba will be tricky, but I see that he is nervous and slow to act.  That will give me a chance to counter any form he chooses to take before he get can it into gear.  Speed should win this battle.

N: Were you serious about disqualifying Ludwig and Spy Guy?

L: I was definitely serious that Ludwig can be reinstated if he can get Spy Guy to talk, so that's up to him.  But yes, if he does nothing, then I have no problem with him being out.  As for Spy Guy, it's going to depend on what he knows and what he discloses.  There are no specific conditions for him to be reinstated, and if he has as much involvement as I think he may, then he won't be.

N: At this point in the interview I usually follow up on the DynaStar.  Last time, you made reference to the fact that this place would become Larry's Sports Hall.  Coincidence?

L: Hey, the name hasn't been changed, you know.  Yes, that is in fact a coincidence.

N: Care to reveal any more details on how you will use it?

L: I'm still going to have to keep that under wraps, but for me to get what I want, it may be that someone else will have to use it.

N: Interesting.. On a related note, now that you are in charge, do you actually have the DynaStar in your possession?

L: Roy didn't transfer it to me, if that's what you're asking.

N: Do you have anything else to add before we go?

L: I just want to say to the Mafia, if they're watching- Do not be angry with your servant, she had no choice but to answer me.  And soon, you will be answering my questions as well.  That is all.

N: Goodnight.

Before the Battle..

Spy Guy is sitting in a prison cell guarded by Axem Pink. Ludwig approaches her.

Ludwig: Larry says if I can extract information from Spy Guy, I will be reinstated to the tournament, so may I have your permission to enter his cell?

Axem Pink slaps Ludwig.

Ludwig: OW! What was that for?!

Axem Pink: To check if you were secretly a doppelganger or not.

Ludwig: So then, what, will you be proving everyone's identity with a slap henceforth?

Axem Pink just smiles.

Ludwig: May I pass now or do I have to fight you for it?

Axem Pink: I'm your future opponent, so you'll be disqualified if you even lay a hand on me.


Axem Pink: Protocol doesn't count against the rules.

Ludwig: Can I check on him or not?

Axem Pink opens the cell door. Ludwig enters Spy Guy's cell, dispensing with the pleasantries.

Ludwig: First of all, what was with you at the meeting?  We could've all gotten out of this mess if you'd just shared your discoveries

Spy Guy: To be honest, after investigating for the big-nosed member, all the clues led me to a dead end.

Ludwig: How? Was one of your deductions invalid?

Spy Guy: That is unknown, but the investigation was not a complete loss. I managed to find another Mafia member.

Ludwig: Really? Who?

Spy Guy: I managed to find out that Tanoomba is a member of the Mafia. Out of the eleven suspects I was given, he was the closest to being the prime suspect, so I captured and interrogated him. While he wasn't Big Nose himself, he was still revealed to be a member of the Mafia.

Ludwig: WHAT?! Why didn't you say so AT THE MEETING?!

Spy Guy: Why would I accuse Tanoomba when he's in the room? He'd simply deny it, and I'd still look like a suspect. However, if it looks like you actually forced it out of me, Larry will probably accept it. He'll probably like the angle, too, since Tanoomba is his next opponent. It's a dark and cheap way out, but we need to continue the investigation before he kicks you or I out of the Sports Hall.

Ludwig: All right, any other information?

Spy Guy:  I was beginning my investigation on another member of the Mafia, the dome-headed one. I need you to get me a list of people who could possibly be him. He's about my height. Try putting those details into Junker. I'd do it myself, but Axem Pink won't let me out, no matter how much I fake-flirt with her.

Ludwig: I will try my best to acquire as much as I can.

Ludwig exits the jail cell and speaks with Axem Pink.

Ludwig: Tell your leader, that I have the necessary information and will present it if I am relieved of my ban.

Axem Pink: I'll try, but no guarantees he'll agree.. GREEN! TAKE MY PLACE!

The changing of the Ranger occurs, while Ludwig moves into his locker room. He turns on Junker.

Junker: Junker is now online.

Ludwig: Junker, give me a list of everyone remaining in the Sports Hall who has a domed head and has shown suspicious behavior.

Junker: Calculating.. results found; Amazing Flying Hammer Brother, Tutankoopa, Paragoomba, Tayce T, Broozer, Medi Guy, Bogmire, Monty Mole.

Ludwig: Only eight? ... Eliminate anyone who is not as tall as Spy Guy.

Junker: Remaining suspects; Amazing Flying Hammer Brother, Tutankoopa, Paragoomba, Tayce T, Medi Guy, Monty Mole.

Ludwig: Let's see, who else can I eliminate? ... The Mafia member did not have the same body and fighting structure as Paragoomba. So I'll scratch him off. That leaves five. Not bad, but I'll have to parlay with Larry before commencing the investigation.


Game Guy Inc. is in Game Guy's locker room, preparing for the upcoming match.

Game Guy: All right, Bowser! You got that Star Rod, you got Muddy Buddy, and you'll need one more item.. Chain Chomps. They may be of use to you.

Baby Bowser: Doggies!

Game Guy: Muddy Buddy, are you ready?

Muddy Buddy: ... Sure.

Game Guy: Ok! We'll only be down to one third of my resources after this battle! But dang it! We're going to make the most of them! Let's do this!


Muddy Buddy: .. Woo.

Baby Bowser: Muddy Buddy! Why you sound like Pokey?

Muddy Buddy: No reason, just thinking of.. things.

Baby Bowser: Like cookies?

Muddy Buddy: .. Yes, like cookies. Bowser, tell me, you have to choose between two cookies. One cookie is one you love because of how many fun times you had with this cookie. But the other cookie you love because you look up to its delicious taste.. Which would you take?


Muddy Buddy: .. Yes, yes we can.

Baby Bowser; YAAAAAAY! Let's go!

Baby Bowser and Muddy Buddy leave, but are stopped by Axems Red and Pink.

Axem Red: Hault! Pink! Inspect Baby Bowser for inappropriate weapons!

Pink searches Baby Bowser and Muddy Buddy.

Pink: Well, the Star Rod and the Chain Chomps are both weapons Bowser uses in the future, so..

Axem Red: .. He's going up against Millennium Star, so let's approve it.. And Muddy Buddy is not a threat to the Millennium Star, so he's approved as well. You may pass to the ring.

Baby Bowser and Muddy Buddy move along, but are stopped by a figure. It's Tiberius Guy.

Tiberius Guy: AR! Tiberius be my name! Now! Hand over the booty! Those Chomps look rather expensive!

Baby Bowser: .. Okay! GO DOGGIES!

Chain Chomps: BARK BARK!

The Chain Chomps charge toward Tiberius, who then runs away in fear of getting eaten. The Chain Chomps return to Baby Bowser once Tiberius Guy is out of sight. Clawgrip then emerges from the shadows.

Clawgrip: *Muttering* Pathetic *Out Loud* Lord Bowser! How are you?! I was walking around here with these giant rocks that are PERFECT for smashing things, and was wondering-


Clawgrip: *Muttering* Too easy. *Out Loud* Sure thing, King Koopa! Three giant rocks you can throw at the Millennium Star.

Baby Bowser: TANK YEW!

Clawgrip: Don't mention it.. Hehehe.

Muddy Buddy: Don't you think that was a tad.. odd?

Baby Bowser: NOPE!


Gloomtail: You'd better be prepared for this, Millennium!  I can't have you lose this!

Millennium Star: Yeah, we went over this a week ago.

Bogmire: Buuuuuuuut stiiiiiiiiiiiil.

Millennium Star: Guys, I've been ready for a thousand years!

Gloomtail: Really, now.  Because I've been here a thousand years, and I didn't know about you until yesterday, relatively speaking.

Count Cannoli: That's a good point.  Since you're not the real Millennium Star, how old are you?

Millennium Star: Not old enough that this conversation isn't still a waste of time!  Anyway, we're in luck.  Not only do we have our original preparations, but I have been promised additional help as well.

Gloomtail: By who?!  People groveling down at my feet to offer assistance, I expect.  You, not so much.

Millennium Star: Oh, it's no one special.  Just the love of my life..

The rest of the Ministry of Gloomtail get anime sweatdrops.

Chet Rippo: Sounds to me like this one's been hoodwinked.

Red Brief J: He's in a stupor, but don't worry!  I'll knock him out of it!

Gloomtail: Don't touch him!  Not before the fight!

Red Brief J: I can't stop now AAAAAAHH!!!


Bogmire: Caaaaaaaaaaan IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII haaaaaaaaaaaaaaave aaaaaanoooooootheeeeeeer?

Red Brief J: ..

Gloomtail: I do not approve of this.  You'd better not have promised this love interest anything in return.

Millennium Star: Eh, I may have promised to do some unspecified favor in the future, I don't really remember.

Gloomtail: I'm beginning to change my mind about you getting a beating.

Axem Green: Threatening a fighter, now, are we?

Gloomtail: Um, yeah.  Just my presence is a threat, anyway.

Axem Green: Tsk.  Black, be a dear and check Millennium for anything naughty.

Axem Black: .. Seems reasonable.. Yeah, he's cool.  Or, fine, anyway.

Count Cannoli: I guess we didn't prepare enough if they didn't find any problems!

Axem Green: Hmph.  All right, come with us, Starman.

Gloomtail: I'll be coming too, of course.

Axem Black: You kidding?  You're too dangerous, man.

Gloomtail: What, can't I even watch?

Axem Black: Um.. I mean, you could buy, like, a thousand tickets, and watch from the back.

Gloomtail: Oh, I'll get a thousand seats, all right!  *grumble, grumble* Bogmire, you accompany him then.

Bogmire: Aaaaaaallllll rrrrriiiiiiigggghhhhttt/

Axem Green: Forget it!  Millennium, you're coming with us, the rest of you can stay here or go rot for all I care!

Millennium Star: It's fine, guys.  I'll be seeing you all soon enough, anyway.  Our victory is assured.

Gloomtail: It had better be.  The Ministry demands it.


Kamek: Hello everyone, and-

Larry: Nope! You're not announcing this time!

Kamek: What?!

Larry: Read the rulebook!

Kamek: You can't allow this, I'm Kamek! I announce great matches! I'm-

Larry: A fighter, Larry's Sports Hall Policy #241. No fighters in the tournament are allowed to announce matches while under the rule of Mr. Larry Koopa due to fear of the announcers getting involved. The only exception to this rule is Mr. Larry Koopa.

Kamek: You just made that policy this morning, didn't you?

Larry: Yep. No current tournament fighters allowed.


Larry: No, you're not announcing today.. but you could be useful for something else. Speak with me after the battle, here's my card.


Larry: Now, it is time for me to announce the match!

Some toddler playtime music plays, cheers sound as Baby Bowser and Muddy Buddy walk out.

Baby Bowser: Weady?

Muddy Buddy: .. Yeah.

Suddenly the Ministry of Gloomtail's music plays. Millennium Star comes out to a loud chorus of boos. Larry jumps into the ring.

Larry: Ladies and Gentlemen! Tonight's special guest announcer will be none other than the current General Manager of Larry's Sports Hall.. Mr. Lllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarry Kooooooooooooopa!


Larry:  Your referee! Pokey!

The boos instantly change to cheers.

Larry: First, in the corner to my left! Accompanied by Muddy Buddy! Baby Bowser!

The cheers are more mixed for Baby Bowser.

Larry: His opponent! In the corner to my right! Millennium Star!

The same reaction for Millennium Star. Larry jumps into the announcer's booth.

Pokey: Fight.


Millennium Star: Ha! A mere infant can't surpass my grace!

Baby Bowser: I'm not an infant! Imma Big Boy! Kamek says so!

Kamek: Please don't get me involved in this, Lord Bowser.

Millennium Star: Want to play snowball fight?


Millennium Star: Very well.


Larry: Millennium Star just used the giant snowman from Mario Party 3 to throw a giant snowball on top of Baby Bowser.


Larry: But Baby Bowser melts it off.

Millennium Star: You even have fire breath at this age? All right! FACE THE POWERS OF WHOMP!


Baby Bowser: Missed me!

Larry: Millennium Star summons a Whomp, but it misses.


Larry: And now the Whomp is running out of the ring in order to attack me in the announcer's booth.. PETEY!

Petey: BWARGH!

Petey fires a cannonball at Whomp, shattering him.

Millennium Star: Well then.. TAKE THIS BOMB!


Larry: Millennium Star just planted that giant bomb from Waluigi's Island!


Baby Bowser: Uh oh..


Muddy Buddy: Bowser! Think of something!


Millennium Star: You have no ideas for this trap, do you?


Larry: Pokey, is this allowed?


Pokey: Mario Party-related, allowed.


Sumo: I'm just going to say something for filler to have something be said between every count.


Baby Bowser: I know!


Chain Chomp: BARK BARK!




Larry: Not bad! Baby Bowser sent out a Chain Chomp to eat the bomb. The Chomp exploded, however.

Millennium Star: Drat! Cannoli promised me that would work! ... All right little guy, are you ready for the next level?

Baby Bowser: What next wevel?

Millennium Star: For all this time, I have been weapons from Mario Party 1-3.. but even I have to get with the times. PRESENTING THE LATEST WEAPON IN MY ARSENAL! THE DIE OF THE MINISTRY OF GLOOMTAIL!

Larry: So he's..

Kamek: You know the Bowser boss fight in Mario Party 9? When Bowser throws that dice block covered in previous bosses? It looks like Millennium is going to use that... only this dice block appears to have members of the Ministry of Gloomtail on it.


Millennium Star: NOW WHAT?!

Larry: Pokey, remove that object!

Pokey: Mario Party-related, allowed.

Larry: But it goes against Larry Sports Hall Policy #-

Pokey: Fair summon.

Larry: We're going to talk about this..

Millennium Star: Now may we proceed? ROLL THE DICE BLOCK!

Larry: Gah!  Millennium Star rolls the dice block and it lands on..

Millennium Star: ME!  STAR RAIN!

Larry: A bunch of stars have fallen from the sky and are about to hit Baby Bowser!

Baby Bowser: WOOP! WOO! WEE! YAY!

Larry: Baby Bowser has dodged all of them.

Baby Bowser: FIRE!


Millennium Star: Hmph! You may have an impressive weapon! But your aim is horrible!

Larry: Baby Bowser used the.. What is that?

Pokey: Mario Party 8 weapon.

Larry: To try to hit Millennium Star! But it has also failed! No one seems to have been able to land a good hit on either man!

Millennium Star: Let's roll the dice again!

Larry: Millennium Star has rolled the dice again! This time it has landed on..



Larry: Six super robot soccer players have entered the field! All of them are now ganging up on Baby Bowser.


Larry: But Baby Bowser is holding his own!

Millennium Star: Fire the torpedo!


Super Soccer Team: GRAH!


Larry: But Millennium Star pulled a cheap shot and fired a torpedo from the Deep Sea board in Mario Party 3. It hit Baby Bowser and destroyed the Super Soccer Team!

Millennium Star: HO HO HO! This battle has become much more amusing now! Let's roll the dice once more!

Larry: What's it going to land on NOW?!

Millennium Star: AH! My old friend! BOGMIRE!



Baby Bowser: EEK! HE SCAWIE!

Larry: Baby Bowser has hid inside his shell!

Muddy Buddy: Come on, Bowser! Face these guys like a man!

Bogmire: Clooooooooones! Geeet hiiiiiim!

Bogmire Clone: Cooooomme doooown!



Larry: The clones tried to capture Baby Bowser, but shot his shell up in the air.

Millennium Star: Ick! You got your sludge on my mustache!

Bogmire: Soooorryyyy.

Millennium Star: Gloomtail didn't hire you to be sorry! He hired you to help me legally cheat!

Bogmire: Liiiiiiightniiiiiiiing!

Baby Bowser: COME HERE!


Larry: Bogmire went for his lightning spell, but Baby Bowser pulled out a rock in order to block the bolt.

Muddy Buddy: It's not interference if he ends up using weapons like that in the future!

Millennium Star: BLAGAGAAGAGAGA!

Larry: And Millennium Star got hit by a stray bolt!

Millennium Star: You are useless to me! BEGONE! ROLL THE DICE AGAIN!

Larry: Now it's rolling onto..

Millennium Star: .. Ah. Count Cannoli. You will be of most use to me.


Larry: Count Cannoli and his giant robot entered the battle!

Count Cannoli: Hello, good sir! Let us begin the SMASHING!


Baby Bowser: HA HA! YOU CAN'T HIT ME!

Count Cannoli: STAND STILL, SIR!

Larry: Cannoli is using his giant robot fists, but Baby Bowser's quick movements allow for him to dodge them all.

Baby Bowser: Wock!


Count Cannoli: Oh dear.

Larry: Baby Bowser used his rock to hit the back of the robot. The hat has blown off now.

Baby Bowser: GWOUND POUND!

Count Cannoli: I don't think so, sir!


Baby Bowser: OW!

Larry: Baby Bowser went for the ground pound, but Cannoli flew out of the way.


Baby Bowser: WAH!


Larry: And Cannoli's machine has punched Baby Bowser into a corner!

Count Cannoli: Time for the final sla-

Mad Hat MKIII: Warning, Muddy Engine Block has prevented this machine from working. Self-Destruct initiated in 5. 4. 3.



Millennium Star and Count Cannoli: ARGH!

Larry: Something has caused an engine block in Cannoli's machine, making it blow up while flying out of it. Cannoli hit Millennium Star.


Larry: I feel like we're just going to portray every side of this six-sided die.

Millennium Star: SHH! ... RED BRIEF J?! ... Seriously, this guy got his own side of the cube?


Red Brief J: That's right! It's time for you, Baby Bowser, to handle the MADNESS... that is.. the Red Brief J!  Tackle!

Baby Bowser: Gwound Pound!




Millennium Star: .. Even by Gloomtail's standards, that was incredibly pathetic.

Larry: I must agree, Red Brief J just tried to tackle Baby Bowser, but got blasted out by the vibrations of Baby Bowser's ground pound.


Axem Pink: Larry! We need you right now! Ludwig got some important info out of Spy Guy!

Larry: WHAT?! I can't leave now, I'm announcing! ... Grr.. Kamek, you announce!

Kamek: But what about your rule-

Larry: Forget the rules!

Kamek: So Larry and Axem Pink are gone. AND KAMEK IS BACK WITH ANNOUNCING! WOO! Okay, what's happening right now?

Chain Chomp: BARK BARK!


Chain Chomp: *Whine*

Millennium Star: Your aim is absolutely horri- OW!

Baby Bowser: SSHHHHH!

Muddy Buddy: Wait, Larry's gone?

Kamek: Baby Bowser failed to hit Millennium Star with a Chain Chomp, but managed to hit him with a  rock while Millennium Star was mocking him.

Millennium Star: Want to play a game of ball, huh?

Baby Bowser: I WOVE GAMES!

Millennium Star: How about, HEXAGON HEAT!

Muddy Buddy and Kamek: WHAT?!

Muddy Buddy: No! You can't do that, Millennium!

Kamek: Actually he can! It's Mario Party-related! He's going to use the same finishing move he used on Waluigi in the Season 9 Round 3 Match! But I don't know if Baby Bowser is as good as Waluigi!

Millennium Star: .. NONE!

Kamek: He's going for the kill already! I can't bear to watch!


Millennium Star: .. What? No cries of agony? No bounce of the corpse?

Baby Bowser: I WOVE WAVA!

Muddy Buddy: You're alive!

Kamek: Ah! That trick can't work on Lord Bowser! He has major defense against lava! Even when he was a baby!

Millennium Star: All right! Time to roll! Hopefully with my luck I will get the best side of the dice block.. but just to be safe..

Kamek: Hey! Millennium Star is taking his time to load the dice so he can land on the side with... GLOOMTAIL!

Millennium Star: ROLL!

Muddy Buddy: No!


Kamek: Millennium Star landed on.. Muddy Buddy?... Well I guess he counts as a member of the Ministry of Gloomtail!

Millennium Star: WHAT?! NO HE DOESN'T! Get off of that cube! Let me summon my leader! You annoying, miserable, pathetic-



Baby Bowser: Take dat!

Millennium Star: Now what?... Oh no!



Kamek: Baby Bowser's shot hit Millennium Star perfectly!


Pokey: Stop. Winner, Baby Bowser.

Kamek: AND IT'S OVER! Baby Bowser's shot knocked all the wind out of Millennium Star, causing him to crash right into the bleachers! Looks like he won't be getting up for a while!

Baby Bowser: YAY! Let's go get cookies now!

Muddy Buddy: Sure thing! Best friend!

???: HOLD IT!


Kamek: OH NO! It's The Ministry of Gloomtail again! They just crashed through the giant titantron!

Gloomtail: You didn't think I was going to give up just because you defeated my soldier, did you?

Baby Bowser: Um.. Who you again?

Gloomtail: Gah!  I am Gloomtail!  All I wanted was to win the DynaStar to cement my unquestionable position as a god, but even though I could defeat any one of you with a flick of a claw, I wasn't entered into the tournament!  So I'm left with no choice!  I will destroy Baby Bowser, and you will HAVE to give me the empty spot!

Baby Bowser: That don't sound good..  I think I could use some help now, Muddy.

Muddy Buddy: Um, um, um..

Baby Bowser: Muddy?!

Muddy Buddy: Gotta go!

Baby Bowser: .. Huh.  Guess he weally is scawy.

Gloomtail: At least he knows when he's met his match.  But don't worry - I'll make this quick.  And excruciatingly painful!

Pokey: Stop.  Fight over.

Gloomtail: You know what, you're right.  I don't need to fight Baby Bowser.

Baby Bowser: Yeah!  You can wun, but you can't hide!

Gloomtail: Everyone I annihilate creates an empty spot for me!

Kamek: This discussion is taking a dangerous turn.  I hope everyone's taken the common advice and are current on their life insurance.  The kind that really does preserve your life, that is.

Gloomtail: Mega Breath, FULL BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kamek: I don't know why I'm still announcing, but I guess it's because there's still action down there!  Gloomtail is firing his famed mega breath across the audience stands!  Everyone's got to be toast down there!  Who am I even talking to?

Baby Bowser: Oh.  My.  I wanna grow big and do that!

Muddy Buddy: : O  : D  : O  : D  etc..

Gloomtail: Well, that's that.  However many fighters there were out there, there are now spots for me.. EH?!

Kamek: I believe that EH resulted from Gloomtail's realization that everyone in the stands is ok.  There doesn't seem to be any damage at all!

Hammer Bro: I'M ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kamek: Ok, well there's always got to be one guy..

Gloomtail: What kind of.. Enough!  I depart for now, but mark my words, this is not the last you've seen of me!

Axem Red: I should say the same thing!

The Axem Rangers, Panser, and Spikey Snifit jump into the ring to arrest the Ministry of Gloomtail.  But Gloomtail swoops down and picks up his fallen soldiers, the wind from his wings blowing back his opponents.  He takes off into the sky as the scene fades out..

After the Battle.. (or actually, during the battle!)

Larry: So you're telling me that we actually have a "Mole" in the Sports Hall.

Ludwig: Unfortunately yes. One of our beloved fighters has lied about his performance and has been pulling many strings backstage.

Larry: Well?! Who is it?!

Ludwig: You won't like it.

Larry: TRY ME!

Ludwig: It's Tanoomba. Spy Guy has spied on him many times and can prove he was never on vacation. He also claims to have obtained a vocal confession from Tanoomba himself. However, Tanoomba has only been helping the Mafia, and Spy Guy claims that he wasn't one of the strange-cloaked figures that appeared after Roy vs. Mr. L.

Larry makes an amazingly large grin. Tanoomba walks by.

Tanoomba: Hey Larry! Even though I'm not a Duplighost or Shadoo, do I have to-


Petey: BWARGH!

PTOOIE! Crick Crick.

Petey spits mud on Tanoomba, encasing him and making him immobile. Larry picks him up and carries him to his office.

Tanoomba: But I have an interview to get to!

Ludwig: So am I reinstated?  Has Spy Guy's release been secured?

The door to Larry's office slams shut.  A moment later, Tanoomba begins screaming.

Ludwig: I.. think I will leave them to their own devices for now..

Later (actually after the battle)..

HT2: I did it!  I did it!  Yeah, all right!

Captain: .. What, exactly, have you done?  Do I want to know?

HT2: I got that star guy to side with us!  Just like you said!

Captain: Really?  I.. actually did not expect that.

HT2: It was easy!  Like, I could do this all the time!

Captain: In that case, what did you do to help him win?

HT2: Um..

Captain: You did help him win, didn't you?

HT2: .. (aside) You didn't tell me I had to do that!

Dome-Head: It seemed obvious at the time.  I mean, you told him we would help.

HT2: Yeah, but I didn't know I was actually s'posed to do it!

Dome-Head: Well, maybe we'll get lucky this time.

Pink Snout (running in): Millennium Star got destroyed out there!  Then Gloomtail tried to kill the whole audience but somehow we were saved!

The Captain glares at HT2.

HT2: Aww, man!

Captain: Just get out of here, all right?

HT2: Bye I'm Her Tallness Two!

Big Nose: Uh, My Captain?  Can we discuss the prisoners?

Captain: Sure, why not.  As you can see, I'm in the mood for a chat.

Big Nose: You know how Dome-Head mentioned about one of the prisoners being deadly allergic to the new diet you put them on?

Captain: I remember, yes.

Big Nose: Well it turns out... every single one of our prisoners is allergic to the new diet, and it has a few... side effects. The only one who isn't affected is King Boo (since he has no stomach), so we put him in charge of feeding the prisoners.

Captain: Please tell me you didn't come here to tell me the prisoners are experiencing sniffles and a rash.

Big Nose: Um, no, it's.. Well, perhaps we'd better show you.

Captain: Fine.  I'll put that on my schedule for when I feel like it.

Big Nose: Ok, I'll have King Boo select a few of them to show you.

Captain: Oh, you can't do that on your own, either, can you?

Big Nose: Do you really care, as long as it's done?

Captain: Not really.

Big Nose nods gravely, turns, and leaves.

Meanwhile, at Macho Grubba's Bar..

Tiberius Guy: AR! THIS NOT BE FAIR! Clawgrip and Muddy Buddy cheated me out of me treasure!

Clawgrip: I only did it because I knew ye were going to cheat anyway.

Captain Syrup: AR! YOU LOSE! GIVE US YE 100 STARS AND 99,999 COINS!

Tiberius Guy: No! I spent years getting this booty! If I lose, then I'll make all ye picks lose too! STARTING WITH CORTEZ!

Tiberius Guy draws his sword, but a cannonball is fired from out of nowhere and knocks out Tiberius Guy. Captain Skull walks up to the table.

Captain Skull: Don't worry, he's alive. Anyway, I can't help but overhear ye bets going on at tis table!

Cortez: Yes, what about it?

Captain Skull: I want to throw me hat in the ring.. as well as me treasure chest!

Captain Syrup: AR! WHAT DO YE HAVE TO OFFER?! I got all me treasure I stole from Wario! Cortez has he ship and priceless artifacts! Clawgrip has his deep sea treasure and his craw shack! And Tiberius Guy has a lot of Power Stars and coins! What do ye got?!

Captain Skull props up his treasure chest, on it is a deed.

Captain Skull: I own a world in Wario World. If I lose, the winner gets to control me world!

Clawgrip: All right.. Who is your money on?

Captain Skull: Me money will be on Wario!

Captain Syrup: HAR HAR HAR! Wario?! You analyzed AGAINST him in his next battle! We accept!

Captain Skull: I may have. But Wario is one of the toughest fighters in the tournament! Just because I say he won't win, doesn't mean he'll lose! You'll soon learn to eat ye words!

Cortez: Ye fate is sealed!

Captain Skull: (We'll see, Cortez.. We'll See).


Mr. L and Chained Kong are tired from spending three weeks searching everywhere in the Sports Hall for Her Tallness. They eventually just sit down.

Mr. L: This is hopeless. We've searched this entire dang Sports Hall and we're nowhere closer to discovering her whereabouts.

Chained Kong: I heard from Shadoo that you guys got a replacement for her... a very loud one. Maybe the Captain's given up as well.

Mr. L: Nonsense! He'd never give up on her!

Chained Kong: Just saying....

Sumo passes by and puts his cleaning cart in the Janitor's Closet. He doesn't notice Mr. L and Chained Kong, and talks to himself because this is one of those moments where he gets very lonely.

Sumo: Dum de dum dum dum. Only one more week before AFHB starts up another torture session.

Mr. L: Torture? Awesome! Who's it for?

Sumo jumps in surprise at hearing Mr. L.

Sumo: Um, no one in particular. You don't know her.

Chained Kong: ...

Mr. L: He doesn't want us to find out.

Chained Kong: It's also a "her", so it must be..

Mr. L and Chained Kong: HER TALLNESS!

Sumo: Wait... Then you two must be with the Mafi-

Sumo stops speaking and enters a trance-like state. Nastasia steps forward from her locker room.

Nastasia: You two can thank me later, K?

Mr. L: Perfect timing!  ..  Don't you usually do interviews at this time?

Nastasia: Tanoomba didn't show up.  You might want to check up on that.

Mr. L: Oh, no way!  I've already had it with this search!

Nastasia: It's your call.  Can I borrow your ball and chain, Mr. Kong?

Chained Kong: Uh... sure?

Chained Kong hands her a chain, which she smashes against Sumo's head.

Chained Kong: I could have done that..

Nastasia: Too hard!  Now, that'll make him forget everything that happened in the past five minutes... Sumo, where are these "interrogations" taking place?

Sumo: Amazing... Locker... Room.

Mr. L: AFHB's locker room! Got it! ... But wait, Larry has increased security.

Chained Kong grabs Sumo's key ring and removes the "AFHB" key on it.

Chained Kong: I have the key to his locker room! Let's go!

The Winner
The Loser
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Voting Results (highlight to see):

1. Baby Bowser: 54%
2. Millenium Star: 46%

Bracket Results

Percent that guessed Baby Bowser: 20
Of those, percent that Risked It: 12

Percent that guessed Millenium Star: 75
Of those, percent that Risked It: 6

Percent that guessed Eliminated Fighter: 5
Of those, percent that Risked It: 0

Boomerang MarioSo He cheated to win...or lose!(Boomerang Mario on Baby Bowser on Millenium Star)
Nega Link King Shroob IIHappy 2017!
Luke GoombaGO BABY BOWSER and plus why did my cousin goomba got a contract from Roy when he dident sign anything.
Son PachirisuW
Son PachirisuO
Kazanryu-Lemmylubb Sr.I
Kazanryu-Lemmylubb Sr.H
Kazanryu-Lemmylubb Sr.Curious Koopa is curious.
Kazanryu-Lemmylubb Sr.S
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